Is the relay on the C69 working when you try to start the spindle? You'll be able to here it click?
In UCCNC, on the Diagnostics page, does the Spindle CW LED light up? It doesn't sound like it?
If you set the M3 port and pins, and check the box, the relay should work. If the Spindle CW LED is lit up, then you must have something wired wrong.
You need to post a diagram of how you wired it, or explain exactly how everything is wired.