Hi Zathras.
In your list, you haven't got headstones from your nearest stonemason.
Is that a possibility ?
I know that the masons will grind and polish the surface flat before doing any engraving, but I've no idea how "flat" the surface is.
If the price from them was reasonable, but the surface not good enough, could laminating a 6-10mm glass sheet to the face with thin epoxy give you what you need ?
Regards
John
Second thoughts - el cheapo version would be to epoxy the glass plate to the surface of a concrete slab.
It's like doing jigsaw puzzles in the dark.
Enjoy today's problems, for tomorrow's may be worse.