Mike,
The Lab-volt lathe I have has an optical pickup on on the spindle. There is a disk with 1 slot attached to the back and a bracket holding the pickup attached to the case. If you pulled apart an old inkjet printer you would find one with an optical end coder attached to the paper feed shaft and a liniar one attached to the print head. It looks like a plastic disk with a bunch of radial lines. It can be used as a cheap substitute for a stepper to track position or as a rev counter. You can cobble one up if you are into electronics or you can go to CNC 4 PC and buy one for a reasonable price. Either way if you down load the instructions you will understand the aplication. You can adapt it to the mill spindle and leave it there for feed back to maintain speed under load or you can take it off and put it on the lathe when you are ready so you can thread.
As for were to start I will make the same suggestion. Read the Mach 3 instructions on spindle control and then look at the offerings from cnc4pc. You need to get the lathe steppers under mach control before you get into spindle issues. You still need to look at the whole picture though so you are not purchasing redundent systems. You can purchase driver cards that incorperate almost all the needed features or you can go alacart. Somtimes you end up with overlaping features if you don't plan you progression. Research, list your needs and desires, ask specific questions for clarification and then impliment the plan.
Jeff